A Few Steps to Avoid #FuckBoyMagic in 2017
As we wrap up 2016, we're re-examining everything we've experienced throughout this year and laying the foundation to have an even better 2017. That's the typical end of the year process for pretty much everyone, right? In that same vein, we wanted to highlight an epidemic that has been prospering for far too long due to either lack of knowledge or an abundance of sly, new and improved, devious tricks that we like to call FUCKBOY MAGIC (FBM). Ladies and gentlemen, FBM has been ravaging our communities for years and it's time we put an end to it!
You know the scenario: You meet a guy, he's incredibly good looking, has an immaculate smile, a twinkle in his eye, he dresses well and in between ordering your grande vanilla chai latte, you lock eyes across the Starbucks waiting area. You place your order and walk over to the bar to retrieve your drink and he strikes up a conversation. You know deep down in your spirit that THIS is it. He's trying to bag you, and you're ready for the bagging! You've already got it playing out in your head how you're going to tell your homegirls that you met your future husband at Starbucks on the coldest day of the year but looking in his eyes had your undercarriage blazing like it was the fourth of July. As you try to play cool on the outside but internally you're clutching your pearls in shock and amazement that this FINE specimen wants YOU, you exchange numbers and vow to "hit each other up for drinks or something". Fast forward a few days, you've been texting and slowly getting to know each other but you're finally going to grab those drinks - so that means, you gotta SLAY bihhh, I mean, this IS your future husband after all! You slide into the seat next to him at the bar, he admires how banging you look and you guys begin a dope evening of laughs and stimulating convo. By this time, you've fallen into an abyss of love. He's perfect, almost too perfect, but you DESERVE perfection so you begin your (made up in your head) fairy tale love affair....and that's when shit gets real!
You call him to set up another date. Call goes unanswered. You text him instead. He doesn't reply for hours. Then he finally hits you, at 1:17am on Friday night / Saturday morning wanting to "chill" - your brain is saying "THIS IS A TRAP. DO NOT FALL INTO IT" - but your heart and undercarriage says "PUT IT ON HIM AND HE'LL NEVER LEAVE". At this point, your brain thinks you're a dumbass, but you don't care, because this is your future husband after all (or so you think). Once you embark down that slippery fuckboy slide, it's a wrap. You begin to notice the pattern of missed calls, sorry excuses, and him only inviting you OVER instead of taking you OUT are becoming far too frequent and you're over it all! Remember, you DESERVE perfection, but the aforementioned scenario AINT IT! With this in mind - let's run through some ANTI-FUCKBOY COMMANDMENTS to ensure that your 2017 stays fuckboy free!
1. Always reply "no" when a FB asks if "you're free" - neither you nor your time is free! If he'd like to spend time with you, he should plan a date! If you notice he's only "your man" behind closed doors and refuses to take you out on a proper date, you should probably end it sooner rather than later.
2. Never let a FB know all your business - FB's are notoriously mysterious. They only tell you things on a need to know basis and even sometimes THAT's a lie, so STOP TELLING THEM EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE.
3. Be clear about what you want - Avoid the disappointment of being sucked into a situationship because you didn't make your intentions clear in the beginning. You teach people how to treat you beloved! If you fall for situationship activities knowing you want a relationship but you don't say anything, what do you think you're going to get? If you settle for less, you'll end up with less than what you settled for!
4. When you notice the usual FB red flags, get outta there faster than Usain Bolt in the 400m sprint! - Don't make excuses for why he behaves that way OR for why you're putting up with it. JUST. LEAVE.
5. If you've been "dating" for months and you've never met any of his friends, family, and / or coworkers - chances are, you're one of many women in his FB rolodex. Once you become aware of this, attempt to talk it out, but if he hits you with some FB explanation, don't try to make sense of it in your head...LET HIM GO BELOVED.
We get it, it seems like it's slim pickins out here for a good man but they are out there, you just have to wade through the murky fuckboy waters to get to them. You know your worth, you know what you seek in a relationship, so don't let these fuckboys take you off course. Stay true to yourself and the RIGHT one will find you.